Titus — WDB09 Journal

I did not say goodbye. I know this. A letter is all that I leave you. I'm looking down at everything. Chaos being tamed, honed by your words and also your presence, discipline and insurance. Since my arrival in Visum, I've had a blackened shade lifted from my eyes. A calm wisdom allowing me for the first time to see life and see what those things are in my life for what they truly are. I see my fellowship. Mithra, wise with winters. That I see her as she is and has been. An unsure and young girl grabbing at a pain she carries within her. It looks like shattered trust. She's afraid of that. This we share. Grip. Finding his purpose, but doubtful of his lineage and destiny. He has doubts. This we share. Devran. A Gemini with a lost soul. This we share. Marcus. Man who fears what he has lost, not what he has given. Salvation. This we share. I can no longer share weakness. It cannot be so. For what is at stake, I must become a different version of me. One history and you both deserve. I look at you. I look at Spes. I look at the stars. It makes me think of Jason and Tesserin. They saw the same stars. The campaign for life as we know it. With no mention of who they were to each other and how they felt. The last foolish thing I'll do is I love you. I will never write this again. I may never say it. We've read the histories. We know the stories. We don't get to know how they felt. We never get that. That's why I'm keeping you from me. History doesn't get that. After what happens, whatever it may be, I get to live and die with you as my token and purpose. Not to be shared, unknown. All men must die. We know it. But I, and only I, have the privilege to know how you made me feel. Burn this letter.