Mithra — GGR3-01 Journal

O maiden of needful pain, hear my deeds and cleanse me of the comforts I inhabit. I did what I had to. I believed what I wanted to believe in. My worst fears realized. I believed without questioning that I have failed my own people. That I left them to their deaths in a strange land. I feel regret, anger, indulgence. But why did such an indulgence feel that I was walking the path of needful pain? Was I not engaging in all forms of necrotic artifacts? O maiden, I'm at a loss with my own faith. What was I supposed to do? Let my own people perish and not be ready to face the threat of our extinction? There are days I yearn to see Yusuf again. There are days where nothing else matters in my Ravana Satara but him. I'm just aching for peace amongst the stars. Another foolish thought to gain some clarity from. But not today. The sensation in memory of him is all I have. The crushing hope of him being there unchanged as being eclipsed by the possibility he will be different from the expectations I have put on myself. This is the weight I must bear. I pray for the necessary pain to get through. For my people, for Yusuf. Even for my new companions who call me wise beyond my years.